yes, things definitely started looking up for me the moment I wrote my last post :)
Now it's time to get it off the top of my page!!
Hubby has been focusing on positive interactions with the kids (he taught them a bit of backgammon) and I've been focusing on happy family time (ice cream cones and a walk on the beach after dinner). We have been being deliberately kind to each other (he made me coffee without asking how).
And...
It's summer vacation!!
and maybe it's more than school's out for summer, maybe, for our kiddos, it's "school's out for evah!"
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
sometimes in my tears I drown...
My depression and anxiety seem worse, lately, although neither have ever been at clinical levels. I'm not coping overly well, ignoring and avoiding things. But I'm coping, obviously, as I'm not experiencing clinical symptoms... or, my symptoms aren't up to clinical frequencies? Regardless, it's all a spectrum in my mind. The volume on my happy dial has been turned down low, and the volume on cranky-resentful, anxiety-panic-attack and sad-lie-in-bed-all-day are turned up high. I'm not interested in seeing my doctor about it, though, so I've got to focus on getting my needs met :) Elementary school is almost over for the year, so that will turn the anxiety-panic-attack knob down at least half-way, I'm sure. (Cue soundtrack: Alice Cooper's School's out for Summer!)
We attended a meeting of Home Learners South of the Fraser on Monday. It being June, not too many were there. The host explained to me that many families "take off early" for their summer vacations. There were the hosts 4 teenage daughters, who were doing their own things, my boys, and 10 year old twin boys. Later another two girls came, one a teen, one younger. Mostly the boys watched one of the host's daughters play a video game and the moms chatted. Kinda boring, but it's the last meeting until September, so I suppose it's not a typical meeting?
I have a concern that I'm focusing too much on the kids and their school as the "solution" to my anxiousness-purposelessness. There's also money, and hubby, and my school. We're going to move soon. There's other people's opinions about all of that - people are very free with their opinions. I've also been feeling a deep, deep sadness at the state of world affairs and the global lack of social justice. Much of my recent course work has focused on violence against women, and I feel a deep despair about that, as well as an inability to express my opinions and stance without people wanting to argue facts that have been studied enough by academics in a systematic, empirical way, that I see them as a given, and a waste of time to debate.
I've been looking at blogs and videos about hooping recently, especially The Happy Hoop, where I watched a video which used the song One Day by Matisyahu, which inspired the title for this post. That line especially unlocks my sadness, because I seem to be letting it get me down.
I think about Paolo Friere, and about Hegel's master-slave dialectic. Friere says that the act of oppression, the refusal to see those we oppress as human, causes us to lose our humanity. Hegel says the master needs the acknowledgment of the slave, however, Glen Coulthard, a Dene and a political scientist from UBC, says the colonial master doesn't care about or require such recognition. Friere says the oppressor cannot free himself, that the oppressed must use their humanity to do so. It seems like such an insurmountable task.
We attended a meeting of Home Learners South of the Fraser on Monday. It being June, not too many were there. The host explained to me that many families "take off early" for their summer vacations. There were the hosts 4 teenage daughters, who were doing their own things, my boys, and 10 year old twin boys. Later another two girls came, one a teen, one younger. Mostly the boys watched one of the host's daughters play a video game and the moms chatted. Kinda boring, but it's the last meeting until September, so I suppose it's not a typical meeting?
I have a concern that I'm focusing too much on the kids and their school as the "solution" to my anxiousness-purposelessness. There's also money, and hubby, and my school. We're going to move soon. There's other people's opinions about all of that - people are very free with their opinions. I've also been feeling a deep, deep sadness at the state of world affairs and the global lack of social justice. Much of my recent course work has focused on violence against women, and I feel a deep despair about that, as well as an inability to express my opinions and stance without people wanting to argue facts that have been studied enough by academics in a systematic, empirical way, that I see them as a given, and a waste of time to debate.
I've been looking at blogs and videos about hooping recently, especially The Happy Hoop, where I watched a video which used the song One Day by Matisyahu, which inspired the title for this post. That line especially unlocks my sadness, because I seem to be letting it get me down.
I think about Paolo Friere, and about Hegel's master-slave dialectic. Friere says that the act of oppression, the refusal to see those we oppress as human, causes us to lose our humanity. Hegel says the master needs the acknowledgment of the slave, however, Glen Coulthard, a Dene and a political scientist from UBC, says the colonial master doesn't care about or require such recognition. Friere says the oppressor cannot free himself, that the oppressed must use their humanity to do so. It seems like such an insurmountable task.
Friday, June 18, 2010
my last post was May 4th?!
yeah, I don't blog anymore...
today was Sports Day at the elementary school.
I've talked to a few people about home schooling next year. No one thinks it's a good idea. Several have said there are some things you just have to do in life... (I thought only death and taxes were inevitable?)
Life is harder when you're poor. We live below the unofficial Canadian poverty line - Statistics Canada's Low Income Cut-Off. Yet recently the provincial government significantly reduced my access to Childcare Subsidy. They've told me my income went up. Actually, they've just started counting my federal student loan grants for low income families as income. I've been getting both for at least 2 years. So now life is a little harder than before. I just really need a break, y'know?
today was Sports Day at the elementary school.
I've talked to a few people about home schooling next year. No one thinks it's a good idea. Several have said there are some things you just have to do in life... (I thought only death and taxes were inevitable?)
Life is harder when you're poor. We live below the unofficial Canadian poverty line - Statistics Canada's Low Income Cut-Off. Yet recently the provincial government significantly reduced my access to Childcare Subsidy. They've told me my income went up. Actually, they've just started counting my federal student loan grants for low income families as income. I've been getting both for at least 2 years. So now life is a little harder than before. I just really need a break, y'know?
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Choosing unschooling
... does this mean deschooling for life?
;)
I guess the above statement refers more to myself than to my kids, who are both just 7 years old, and, so by the general deschooling 'rule of thumb' should need about 2 to 3 months of deschooling (they are currently in 1st and 2nd grades). I, however, was in public school for 13.5 years, and I have attended enough part time semesters of university to equal at least 7 years (of my time, not credit time), so we're talking 2 years of deschooling for this gal! And still 3 more academic semesters (and 27 credits) left of my Bachelor of Social Work degree, plus becoming 'designated' as a government child protection officer, before I'm done with this bout of schooling... and I'm pretty certain I want to pursue a graduate degree.
Currently, I am on a two week semester break. I had grand plans for how I was going to spend that time. I was going to clean and organize all the spaces in my house, from the mountains of laundry in my bedroom (clean and dirty, no one likes to fold or hang up clothes in this house) to the spare bedroom downstairs that the kids have littered with tiny Lego pieces, Bakugan's, Pokemon cards and figurines, knights, police guys, etc, ad nauseum, infinitum... I was going to work like crazy in my garden and with my seed starts inside (set up grow lights on timer, transplant to bigger pots, thin out the tomatoes...). Heck, I was even going to do my taxes, and submit that A+ paper to the University's writing competition... yeah, still haven't done that. Heck, I haven't done much of anything, except sit on the computer, surfing the net. I've been immersed in unschooling yahoo lists, reading posts for hours, following links, googling ideas and people and blogs and conferences. I came across the following quote on one of those lists:
A list of the things I've been doing in the last few weeks to support my journey to becoming an unschooling mama:
;)
I guess the above statement refers more to myself than to my kids, who are both just 7 years old, and, so by the general deschooling 'rule of thumb' should need about 2 to 3 months of deschooling (they are currently in 1st and 2nd grades). I, however, was in public school for 13.5 years, and I have attended enough part time semesters of university to equal at least 7 years (of my time, not credit time), so we're talking 2 years of deschooling for this gal! And still 3 more academic semesters (and 27 credits) left of my Bachelor of Social Work degree, plus becoming 'designated' as a government child protection officer, before I'm done with this bout of schooling... and I'm pretty certain I want to pursue a graduate degree.
Currently, I am on a two week semester break. I had grand plans for how I was going to spend that time. I was going to clean and organize all the spaces in my house, from the mountains of laundry in my bedroom (clean and dirty, no one likes to fold or hang up clothes in this house) to the spare bedroom downstairs that the kids have littered with tiny Lego pieces, Bakugan's, Pokemon cards and figurines, knights, police guys, etc, ad nauseum, infinitum... I was going to work like crazy in my garden and with my seed starts inside (set up grow lights on timer, transplant to bigger pots, thin out the tomatoes...). Heck, I was even going to do my taxes, and submit that A+ paper to the University's writing competition... yeah, still haven't done that. Heck, I haven't done much of anything, except sit on the computer, surfing the net. I've been immersed in unschooling yahoo lists, reading posts for hours, following links, googling ideas and people and blogs and conferences. I came across the following quote on one of those lists:
unschooling is about more than education. It's a radical shift in how one lives life, seeing value in all things and being joyful and not succumbing to societal expectations of what is valuable and necessary and cool and acceptable. It's about showing respect and love. It's about honoring others and their needs. And that's just the tip of the unschooling iceberg.Um, yeah, SO not me these days! I've been super tired and cranky and downright mean to my family. I am just plain ol' angry and resentful. I've probably been recovering from burnout, and I've recently realized I've definitely been deschooling. I'm also realizing it's a process, and I've got to trust the process.
A list of the things I've been doing in the last few weeks to support my journey to becoming an unschooling mama:
- joined AlwaysLearning, Unschooling_Canada, and unschoolingbasics lists on Yahoo
- contacted SelfDesign (an unschooling friendly Distributed Learning school) and put the kids on the list for next year
- contacted HLSF, a local group of homelearners who have monthly meetings and a weblist, who suggested I join HS-Van, a list with homeschooling resources, etc, in the Greater Vancouver area
- found all the unschooling related books at my local library, and requested a bunch, including a few by John Holt (just got an email that How Children Learn is available for pick up!)
- currently reading Deschooling our Lives and The Unschooling Handbook
- found the Journal of Unschooling and Alternative Education (JUAL), edited by Carlo Ricci, PhD, and instructor in the faculty of education's graduate program at Nipissing University
- joined the Radical Unschooling Info facebook group
- talked with the kids about homeschooling (they're excited. they hate school. they want to learn more about math when we homeschool. we started skip counting right then and there)
- talked with my mom about homeschooling the kids next year, and having her be with them on Fridays, one of her days off of work, while I take classes, study, have practicum, etc.
- talked with mom about her concerns with unschooling (she wants to be sure they learn math. they love math, no worries, I couldn't stop them if I wanted to)
- talked with hubby about him being the homeschooling parent one day per week
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