I just saw this post on Facebook, by my sister in law: "Fxck!ng b!tch that makes my daughter upset better watch out!!!!!!!" That was 7 exclamation marks. I counted. All I can think is, "oh, dear!" (and I added the symbols in the swears) Well, that and, be SUPER sarcastically glad to have all these new family members in my life. Seriously, though, her daughter is in first grade. Is this another first grader my SIL is referring to? Or an older child? Is it an adult, rather than a child? I suppose if this were the case, I could understand the sentiment, but if it's another 6 year old?!? What kind of message is my niece picking up from her mother?
I am currently taking a 4th year social work class titled Family Centred Practice, with a textbook titled Family Therapy: Concepts and Methods. Last week we handed in a 12 plus page paper where we were to make a genogram of 3 to 4 generations of our family, then analyze our families using Family Therapy concepts. Maybe I should've analyzed my in laws? Yikes.
I want to leave a comment, be something of a voice of reason, but I have no idea what to say. It'd have to be something pithy (well, maybe short and sweet, rather than concise and forceful).
Vengeance is not something I hope my children learn from me. In fact, last night while driving home from my mother's house, stepson was having a conversation with son. He was talking about some (made up) person who was "sucky" at a video game. I couldn't let it pass, and asked exactly what that meant. At first, they said "never mind," (I guess recognizing my tone?) but I wouldn't let them off the hook. So they said that it meant he was bad, meaning he wasn't skilled at playing the particular video game.
I then talked about the difference between who we ARE and what we DO, or our behaviour. This is a crucial concept in Child Welfare, my particular social work major. We need to distinguish between poor parenting and "bad mothers." Anyone can overcome bad behaviour, but if someone is a bad person, is there even a hope of redemption for that person? We cannot write people off because of something bad that they DO, this, to my mind, is oppression.
I'm sure my children are used to my moral lectures, but my sister in law is not, and would likely not take kindly to it. Thus, those of you who read this blog get to read my rantings.
Did I mention I'm miserably sick? Perhaps I'm a bit short-tempered as a result :S
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
what are we eating these days?
I've been thinking about food a lot lately.
Hubby and I have been canning. My dad gave us a 20lb box of tomatoes from Keremeos, in the southern Okanagan Valley. (Dad works in Penticton and lives in Mission, so he drives the Crowsnest Hwy twice a week, usually.) We roasted three panfulls, removed as much skin as we could, and then canned them in a hot water bath - 35 minutes!! Much too long... a pressure canner takes 10. So we're thinking of buying a pressure canner as an early Christmas present to one another. They're about 100 bucks :)
Investing in a canner would allow us to can pretty much ANYTHING, including salmon (yum!), without fear of nasty organisms. I could even can jars of broth instead of freezing them in plastic containers - like the massive amounts of broth I made out of my aunt's Thanksgiving turkey carcass. We might also be able to manage a bulk meat order, like, say from a local beef producer (1/2 a cow, anyone?).
Once upon a time, I lived in the Mainland Inlets (specifically Knight Inlet), near the north end of Vancouver Island (around Alert Bay and Pt McNeill), on a float house. My partner hunted deer meat, and we canned it. That was the easiest stew starter I've ever had. Nowadays, when I want stew, it usually means defrosting something first - almost a 2 day process for this busy lady. One pressure canner batch of gristly meat could make a winter's worth of 'stew starter'. The possibilities are endless :)
However, this doesn't get at the heart of my food concerns - I mostly wonder about the grain products we consume, such as cereal, crackers, corn chips, bread tortillas, muffins... I've even recently become concerned about the SUGAR in juices labeled 'unsweetened' - I read on a Yahoo homeschooling list that Health Canada thinks of the sugar in juice as a PROCESS, not an INGREDIENT. WTH?!
Add to this the fact that most sugar is now produced from genetically modified sugar beets... how on Earth is a person with a limited budget supposed to stay on top of this?
Hubby and I have been canning. My dad gave us a 20lb box of tomatoes from Keremeos, in the southern Okanagan Valley. (Dad works in Penticton and lives in Mission, so he drives the Crowsnest Hwy twice a week, usually.) We roasted three panfulls, removed as much skin as we could, and then canned them in a hot water bath - 35 minutes!! Much too long... a pressure canner takes 10. So we're thinking of buying a pressure canner as an early Christmas present to one another. They're about 100 bucks :)
Investing in a canner would allow us to can pretty much ANYTHING, including salmon (yum!), without fear of nasty organisms. I could even can jars of broth instead of freezing them in plastic containers - like the massive amounts of broth I made out of my aunt's Thanksgiving turkey carcass. We might also be able to manage a bulk meat order, like, say from a local beef producer (1/2 a cow, anyone?).
Once upon a time, I lived in the Mainland Inlets (specifically Knight Inlet), near the north end of Vancouver Island (around Alert Bay and Pt McNeill), on a float house. My partner hunted deer meat, and we canned it. That was the easiest stew starter I've ever had. Nowadays, when I want stew, it usually means defrosting something first - almost a 2 day process for this busy lady. One pressure canner batch of gristly meat could make a winter's worth of 'stew starter'. The possibilities are endless :)
However, this doesn't get at the heart of my food concerns - I mostly wonder about the grain products we consume, such as cereal, crackers, corn chips, bread tortillas, muffins... I've even recently become concerned about the SUGAR in juices labeled 'unsweetened' - I read on a Yahoo homeschooling list that Health Canada thinks of the sugar in juice as a PROCESS, not an INGREDIENT. WTH?!
Add to this the fact that most sugar is now produced from genetically modified sugar beets... how on Earth is a person with a limited budget supposed to stay on top of this?
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Running to stand still
That is the title to one of my favorite songs off of U2's 1987 album, The Joshua Tree...
You got to cry without weeping
Talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice
...and those were some of my favorite lyrics from the song.
Sometimes I want to scream, but I don't because I don't want to disturb the peace... do something illegal? Cause civil disruption? Is that part of the social construction of my identity as middle class? a citizen? a woman?
The title, Running to Stand Still, describes how I feel these days. The beginning of the semester eases into midterms and I'm on the hamster wheel again. It hasn't been as crazy as last year, when I got married and when my stepson, age 6, moved in. We did move this September, but I've finally taken the plunge, trusted, and we're homeschooling, and I'm happier.
But I have no time.
(Can I use but like that? Or do I have to say something like however? Are there any English majors out there?)
I have no time, and today I got cranky, because I had a paper due and I hadn't finished the rough draft. I was also late reporting for the distributed learning school. Being late is my Achilles heel.
I got mad at Stepson when he wouldn't, or couldn't focus on our "Observation for Learning (O4L)." We do this every week, and I always ask him to talk about the last week and I help him by prompting and reminding him, but today he couldn't come up with anything to say, and I was just putting words in his mouth. So I raised my voice and told him we had a two week trial period and failure meant public school. Did I mean that? I don't know...
Regardless, I'll have to apologise for yelling, and I guess we'll try discussing what's working and what's not working about homeschooling. Then what? Can you talk with almost 8 year olds about wants and needs in relationships? Maybe son will get it, but it's over stepson's head.
Son is verbal, Stepson, not so much. Rather he's full on kinetic; half the time you've got to hold both his hands and bend down to his eye level to be sure he's processing what you're saying. Son can be quite protective and supportive of his stepbrother, and this is often a help, but neither remember routine tasks well. What can I say, they're still 7. As well, I have noticed an improvement in their listening over the past few weeks, however, their improved behaviour doesn't coincide with my poor behaviour, of course :S
To conclude, I've had the Grateful Dead's Box of Rain stuck in my head for two weeks, now.
You got to cry without weeping
Talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice
...and those were some of my favorite lyrics from the song.
Sometimes I want to scream, but I don't because I don't want to disturb the peace... do something illegal? Cause civil disruption? Is that part of the social construction of my identity as middle class? a citizen? a woman?
The title, Running to Stand Still, describes how I feel these days. The beginning of the semester eases into midterms and I'm on the hamster wheel again. It hasn't been as crazy as last year, when I got married and when my stepson, age 6, moved in. We did move this September, but I've finally taken the plunge, trusted, and we're homeschooling, and I'm happier.
But I have no time.
(Can I use but like that? Or do I have to say something like however? Are there any English majors out there?)
I have no time, and today I got cranky, because I had a paper due and I hadn't finished the rough draft. I was also late reporting for the distributed learning school. Being late is my Achilles heel.
I got mad at Stepson when he wouldn't, or couldn't focus on our "Observation for Learning (O4L)." We do this every week, and I always ask him to talk about the last week and I help him by prompting and reminding him, but today he couldn't come up with anything to say, and I was just putting words in his mouth. So I raised my voice and told him we had a two week trial period and failure meant public school. Did I mean that? I don't know...
Regardless, I'll have to apologise for yelling, and I guess we'll try discussing what's working and what's not working about homeschooling. Then what? Can you talk with almost 8 year olds about wants and needs in relationships? Maybe son will get it, but it's over stepson's head.
Son is verbal, Stepson, not so much. Rather he's full on kinetic; half the time you've got to hold both his hands and bend down to his eye level to be sure he's processing what you're saying. Son can be quite protective and supportive of his stepbrother, and this is often a help, but neither remember routine tasks well. What can I say, they're still 7. As well, I have noticed an improvement in their listening over the past few weeks, however, their improved behaviour doesn't coincide with my poor behaviour, of course :S
To conclude, I've had the Grateful Dead's Box of Rain stuck in my head for two weeks, now.
Look out of any window any morning, any evening, any day Maybe the sun is shining birds are winging or rain is falling from a heavy sky - What do you want me to do, to do for you to see you through? this is all a dream we dreamed one afternoon long ago Walk out of any doorway feel your way, feel your way like the day before Maybe you'll find direction around some corner where it's been waiting to meet you - What do you want me to do, to watch for you while you're sleeping? Well please don't be surprised when you find me dreaming too Look into any eyes you find by you, you can see clear through to another day I know it's been seen before through other eyes on other days while going home -- What do you want me to do, to do for you to see you through? It's all a dream we dreamed one afternoon long ago Walk into splintered sunlight Inch your way through dead dreams to another land Maybe you're tired and broken Your tongue is twisted with words half spoken and thoughts unclear What do you want me to do to do for you to see you through A box of rain will ease the pain and love will see you through Just a box of rain - wind and water - Believe it if you need it, if you don't just pass it on Sun and shower - Wind and rain - in and out the window like a moth before a flame It's just a box of rain I don't know who put it there Believe it if you need it or leave it if you dare But it's just a box of rain or a ribbon for your hair Such a long long time to be gone and a short time to be there
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