More stuff that makes me mad about the way humanity treats women

From oystermag.com:

Petra Collins on censorship and the female body

Petra Collins is an artist. She photographs, contributes to things, and curates — and in doing so, dissects girl culture. Her recent creation for American Apparel's online store; a tee with an illustration of a bleeding vagina, being touched, sparked interest online but ultimately wasn't allowed on TV. Likewise, her Instagram (with 25k followers) was just deleted. Here, she tells Oyster the story and why it pisses her off.

http://oystermag.com/petra-collins-on-censorship-and-the-female-body

Below is one of several paragraphs included in the article at the above link. You should go read the rest :) Sorry, no comments allowed because I'm using iOS, and Blogger doesn't support it, so no edits to silly default settings.

I'm used to seeing cover after cover featuring stories about a popular celebrity being fat-shamed during pregnancy. I'm used to seeing reviews of an award show performance that critiques a female singer for being "slutty" but then fails to even mention the older male behind her. I'm used to reading articles about whole towns harassing a rape victim until she's forced to leave. I don't want to be used to this. I don't want to have to see the same thing constantly. I don't want to be desensitized to what's happening around me all.the.time. I consider myself endlessly lucky to have access to the Internet and technology. Through it I've found myself and have been able to join a new discourse of females young and old who strive to change the way we look and treat ourselves. I know having a social media profile removed is a 21st century privileged problem - but it is the way a lot of us live. These profiles mimic our physical selves and a lot of the time are even more important. They are ways to connect with an audience, to start discussion, and to create change. Through this removal I really felt how strong of a distrust and hate we have towards female bodies. The deletion of my account felt like a physical act, like the public coming at me with a razor, sticking their finger down my throat, forcing me to cover up, forcing me to succumb to societies image of beauty. That these very real pressures we face everyday can turn into literal censorship. 

on a hyper-sexualized culture and how it hurts teenagers

I am sitting in my children's closet as I type this, because we are down to one fully functioning computer in this house, and they have taken it over :)

Today is a rainy fall day, and I feel sad.

I lost a close colleague to a sudden stroke almost exactly a year ago, and I know that is part of why I feel sad. In the last almost 3 years, I have lost many significant people in my life, including 3 deaths in 3 months at the beginning of 2011. So there is an accumulation of sadness from that, as well. However, I know this sadness is more than that. I am sad about the way women are still treated in our society, in general, and in specific, I am sad about the deaths of several teenage girls that could have been preventable.

I am talking about Amanda Todd, Retaeh Parsons, and now Adriana Falcon.

When you read about these three girls who have died in the last 12 months in Canada, you read about different concerns. For Amanda, it is cyber-bullying. For Retaeh, it is mental health treatment and suicide. For Adriana, it is substance misuse and mandated treatment. But at the core of all three stories is the sexualization and sexual assault of girls. Retaeh and Adriana were raped. Amanda was sexually exploited. Adriana and Amanda were 13 at the time of these assaults.

Shortly after Amanda's death, I saw a CBC documentary, Sext up KIDS, which explores how growing up in a hyper-sexualized culture hurts our kids. Kids have to navigate puberty in a world where the line between pop culture and porn culture is increasingly blurred. Think about Miley Cyrus and the VMA's. How are kids supposed to cope with this pressure?

The answer is that some of them aren't coping. Amanda and Retaeh's deaths were deemed suicides. Adriana's was deemed a drug overdose, but... wouldn't heroin use at such a young age be indicative of not wanting to cope with reality? is suicide not an escape from reality?

As a mother,  I am horrified for the parents of these three girls, that they weren't able to intervene, that our society wasn't able to support these families and these girls, such that they were able to heal and go forward to live full, healthy productive lives.

As a Social Worker, a professional committed to social justice, especially for marginalized groups of people and for people who aren't cognitively or emotionally capable of informed consent, I am frustrated with our governments' lack of commitment to social spending over the last 30 years, since Reaganism and Thacherism.

As a feminist, I am so sick and tired of STILL having to protest this shit. Women's bodies are STILL not autonomous, and privileged males seem to still think they have a right to them. I'm thinking now of a fantastic article about rape chants at universities and the Person's Case (where, in 1929, women in Canada were finally recognized as people before the law).

As a Child Protection worker for the BC Public Service, I am frustrated that I can't give these families access to more and more resources, such that Amanda and Adriana, both BC girls, could have accessed the help they so desperately needed.

As the mother of two young boys, I feel it is my responsibility to ensure my sons grow up to be respectful of the rights of all marginalized groups, to understand their privilege in this world as white men, to call out oppressive comments when they hear them. This great article, An Open Letter to Bros, sums it up nicely.

In writing about this larger issue I start to feel a shift, from sadness to anger. Sometimes, this is a good thing for people, because it spurs them to action. Sometimes, anger slips into frustration and inaction. Today, I am choosing to sit with my sadness, to keep my heart open and vulnerable, because today is not a day for action.

Namaste.



P.S.: I urge anyone with a vested interest in youth mental health services in BC to check out this April 2013 report by the Representative for Children and Youth's office: Still Waiting. The following is a brief excerpt from the press release:

"Youth struggling with mental health problems and the people who care for them told us loud and clear that finding help can be a confusing and traumatic experience that often ends in a revolving door through the hospital Emergency Room," said Representative Mary Ellen Turpel-Lafond. "Doctors and other professionals who participated in this review depicted an inefficient system marked by silos and a lack of communication and co-ordination.

Testing 1 2 3...

I don't know if this link will work. Lets try:

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6FeBLnbOIzCOXYId3VUXa2pqxdRpkn8_QW5Yx25-j1hZLZr_QJuqHOvV9oovsn8Ew3beQsyf-8dJGLMNl_CIiAjpYx_QWdKgD6TjXJxcsJE2rFWJhHXejvVnqg8FRWaOeCii0EURJ6KE/s1600/includingyou.jpg

I think it is not working. Sad face.

September 27, 2013: Updated to insert image :)

New Deputy Minister

Oh joy, MCFD has a new Deputy Minister - Steven Brown is back to the Ministry of Health.  At least the Minister hasn't changed, we've still got Stephanie Cadeaux. Not that I know anything about Cadeaux, I'm just glad there isn't more change. Change takes energy and time ;)

It's all about "delivering efficient and effective services". That, and the Early Years Strategy, to make ECE programs more affordable. 

I say, less barriers to child care subsidy! Lower the income threshold! But who cares what I think? I just put myself through university as a mature student with children in daycare. What would I know about these big decisions?

June update

This is my first attempt at blogging from my new, fancy-pants iPhone. I have gone app crazy, exploring the world of digital reading and podcasts and apps for TED talks and Netflix and Pinterest, even a fancy grocery store app that synchs with my husband's grocery store app on his new, fancy-pants iPhone!

I've even found a couple of apps that help me monitor my self care and my health. I am being reminded to drink more water, to eat healthier and to move and stretch more frequently. I am struggling through, day by day, creating a routine of self care and positive thinking.

Still, I am struggling with my work. I had a very hard week recently, and we are short staffed for the rest of the month, with one worker in training and another on vacation. I have a few paperwork deadlines I am struggling to meet - I keep promising a completion date, and then I keep coming up against urgent but unanticipated work that ends up taking precedence. Regardless, I am doing what I need to do to take care of myself, including asking for support from my boss. 

I am also struggling in my communication with my husband, but that is nothing new! We just communicate so differently, it is amazing to me! I'm really not sure if that will ever get easier. I am working on my own approach to our communication - I am trying to be softer, and to speak with a gentler tone. This is due to the latest addition to my "blog roll", The Orange Rhino, a blog about one stay at home mom's year-long commitment to NOT YELL at her kids. For. One. Year. Straight! (Oh! I cannot see how to add a hyper link to the blog title in this interface... So no links from the iPhone app!)  The Orange Rhino amazes and inspires me. 

I'm not quite ready to tackle no more yelling, although I'm extremely committed to parenting without shame, blame or guilt. Regardless, I love reading this mom's struggles and the grace she receives as a result of being in the moment of her struggles. It is so refreshingly honest, and thus vulnerable and moving :)

I am also lately re-inspired by Unschooling and wish so much that I could be more active in my boys' education. Ah, to be self-employed, to work from home, to just have the time to be there with the boys as they learn! Would that not be the best of all possible worlds?! :) 

Forty-Eight Percent

I am disappointed in tonight's' election results. I had hoped that the Liberals would not get a majority, I had hoped for a stronger showing by the NDP. I was pleased that the Green party won a seat, but appalled at the low voter turnout of 48%.

Forty-eight percent. Something's clearly not working here.

I took an introductory political science class in 2008 while applying for my BSW program. I wrote my final paper comparing electoral systems that elect minority governments. What I remember from my conclusions was that coalition governments do work; political parties do cooperate when populations continue to elect minority governments. These coalition governments had to compromise on policy matters, responding to a wider percentage of the population of the particular countries studied.

I don't recall if there was also a positive impact on the popular vote. I think our first past the post system is a dismal reflection of the percentage of the population that makes up the "popular" vote. I think the Green party's election to a seat in the last federal election and now in the provincial election, both historic firsts, is a triumph over this dismal conundrum.

Forty-eight percent.

Something's clearly not working. Is it apathy? I don't know, but I'm interested in finding out more about what people who don't vote think. Why don't they vote? What might make a difference? How does the political system need to change to include them?

I think of countries around the globe today, countries with unequal access to the right to vote. I think of our very recent suffragette history, of the bloody American Civil Rights movement. I think of Paolo Freire's Pedagogy of the Oppressed, and I have to reject apathy, perhaps in favour of overwhelm? Who knows. It 's something to focus on other than my anger and frustration.

my favorite coping strategies

... include watching several selected television programs, mostly on Netflix. Right now it is Mad Men and Kids in the Hall ("I'm crushing your head!"). Earlier it was Dexter and Breaking Bad.

I love to read, mostly novels (it's about the escapism, of course), but also non-fiction, in the form of parenting books, cook books, books on social justice and environmentalism and mental health. I explore the internet, mostly facebook, but also the Oatmeal.

I'm loving everything to do with shame researcher Brene Brown these days, including her new book, Daring Greatly, her blog, the TED talk, and Oprah (part 1 and 2).

I go for walks. I am so happy it is spring. I used to garden (but now I'm in an apartment, so I have a window box). In the winter, I take a lot of baths.

I sit with my children and I am interested in what they are doing. Even if it is mine craft and video games and fart jokes. They are a delight and I am so grateful, even when they are cheeky (my stepson is quite funny, how can one get mad?) or sulky (my son reminds me, painfully, of myself at that hormonal age. How can one not become disregulated?!)

I try to laugh. I talk to my friends. I stay up too late, numbing my feelings of anxiety with tv and internet and chocolate and chips. I volunteer, at the crisis line and with a youth organization. I visit my parents.

I suffer from seasonal depressive symptoms, but not to the point that I've ever sought a diagnosis. I manage. It's hard, though, and I fight with my husband and I feel despair.

I am trying to learn to practice gratitude and love and hope. I am learning that these are not feelings, they are more than that. They are daily investments of intention.

I breathe with utmost attention and care. Deep, cleansing breaths. Yoga breaths.

I meditate.

Why child protection? (a two part post)

I read Ron Unruh's blog, GPS, a lot. Ron has taken on an advocacy role for two different families who have been involved with the Ministry of Children and Family Development, two families whose children were removed from their parent's care. Ron believes both these removals were unjustified. Ron's writing and criticism has always seemed very balanced to me. However, many of the community of commenters has been extremely negative about MCFD, often vilifying social workers, calling them evil, or monsters. Some feel that ALL child protection involvement is unwarranted.

I first discovered Ron's blog while completing the last academic semester of my Bachelor of Social Work. I had chosen a child protection specialization, rather than the generalist option. This meant that my last semester would be spend in a practicum with MCFD, vs. a practicum in a hospital setting, or with an advocacy group. At the time, I had very little direct knowledge about the work MCFD did with families, and I was horrified to read the comments on his posts. I agreed that child protection workers seemed to have too much authority over parents and children.

I began reading and commenting; many posts were by or about Ray Ferris, who was also an advocate for the family that Ron was writing about at that time. Ray resides in Victoria, and was a social worker in BC for many years. Ray also wrote a book about child protection, which I now own. Ray visited his family over Christmas, and invited me to meet him. Through my correspondence with Ray, I regained my confidence in my career choice as something that was both necessary and often in childrens' best interests. I again felt that this could be a meaningful job.

I did my 4 month practicum, applied for a job, and was hired to work on the same team. I did 3 weeks of training at the Justice Institute, and was given a caseload and 'partial delegation'. This means I had the authority to operate under certain sections of the Child, Family and Community Services Act (CFCSA), but I required the supervision of an experienced, 'fully delegated' social worker to conduct investigations of child protection concerns (as defined by section 13 of the CFCSA), to remove a child from his/her parent(s) care, or to apply for a supervision order without removal. It took me a year to become a fully delegated child protection worker. The longer I worked for MCFD, and the longer I operated under the CFCSA in Family Court, the more I realized how little authority I really have over children and families. The child protection concerns listed in S.13 are actually very narrow, when we compare them to the conditions for optimal child development.

For example, lack of school attendance is not a child protection concern, but schools make reports about this concern ongoingly. The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child states children have the right to go to school, but school attendance is an issue of the School Act, although it is very vaguely worded, and there is no longer truancy enforcement in BC. When I get reports like this, my role is to contact the child's guardian and offer support services. This is not compulsory, and the family is free to tell me "no thank you."

Another example is "emotional abuse". Although this IS a S.13 concern, child protection social workers almost never use this in court. This is because the courts' operational definition of emotional abuse requires a clinician to corroborate that there is a mental heath condition that is due to mom or dad's parenting. Child protection workers just don't have the qualifications to make that determination - we cannot diagnose a child as having an anxiety disorder, etc.

It's not good to yell at your kids all the time (although sometimes it IS good, according to the parenting book I'm currently reading). This, however, is not a child protection concern.

Poverty is also not a child protection concern - if a family doesn't have enough food or is homeless (either couch surfing or living in a shelter), I'm not going to go and remove those kids, it's not justified unless I also have the authority to provide the family with the financial means to address the concerns. One time, I was planning a gradual return of children to their parents' care. The foster parent was horrified that the family didn't have beds for the kids to sleep in during the visits. I asked my boss if this was required before I could authorize more overnight visits. She informed me that MCFD was not the "poverty police," and she could approve a return even if they were sleeping on the floor. So we creatively problem-solved to find community resources to help the family get what they needed, furniture-wise.

Without clear child protection concerns, social workers like me do not have the authority to insist a parent accept our interventions. However, our voluntary services also leave a lot to be desired. Most services have been farmed out to community services agencies for decades. If a parent wants to voluntarily place a child in Ministry care, there are many hoops to jump through, including first exhausting community resources and then exploring maintenance agreements.

Parenting programs also leave a lot to be desired. A friend of mine from university went on to complete her Master of Social Work; her major paper was an evaluation of various parenting programs available in North America and her conclusion was that the options were grim.

In considering all of the above, the title question is an ongoing issue for me. Why do I continue to choose this career? The immediate (flip) response is the pension, the Union, the benefits (I LOVE my flex days), the option of financial support to complete a Masters' degree. However, there are other great jobs out there for social workers that provide direct client contact as a voluntary service (clients aren't forced to accept services). My sister works for Covenant House, and keeps trying to get me to submit a resume; she says their benefits are just as great as working for the Public Service Agency.

There is something about this work that continues to inspire me, and keeps me from quitting, despite the workload, the angry clients, the long waitlists for services. One supervisor I know has likened working for the government to an abusive relationship; we feel mistreated, but we keep coming back for more. Why is this? What are we getting out of this job? Is there something more than the financial rewards (I certainly don't make as much money as I thought I would!) and the benefits?

The short answer is yes. There is more to child protection than a good job, a government job, a union job. This job is meaningful to me; it satisfies my desire to work for social justice.

The long answer will come later :)

from PostSecret

The following picture, which made me laugh out loud when I saw it, is from the PostSecret Community's blog, Sunday Secrets.

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard.

 

Frank Warren is the artist behind the project, and shares the backstory here. PostSecret contributes to 1-800-SUICIDE.

 

PostSecret is amazing and beautiful and vulnerably heartbreaking, both in the sadness people express, and in the support people are moved to provide.

 

Check out Sunday Secrets today!

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

Changes are rapidly being planned and implemented at work.

Circle 5, Aboriginal Services for the Delta/Surrey area, is doing a bit of a shuffle. Four of 7 teams are being re-figured to a new model of practice, with an expanded role for Guardianship workers, who will be involved with children at an earlier stage than in previous models of practice.

I'm excited for the change; not only do I feel it will better serve kids, but I feel it will better support Family Development Response and Family Services staff. It's different than the past, integrated model, where workers did everything from Intake to Family Services and TCO's to Guardianship and CCO's. Senior workers who have done this role have been pretty clear that didn't work (such as Tracy Young at Advocacy BC).

I'm also nervous, because change, whether interpreted as "good" or "bad", is always stressful.

I have no idea if I'll continue working with my current supervisor when the changes are implemented. I like the other 3 supervisors, but I really LIKE my boss. I trust her decision making - it's not fear-based, she trusts mine and she's taken the time to learn how to support my needs for clinical supervision. I know one of the other supervisors fairly well, and I think the same relationship would be easy to develop. I also anticipate there would be a similarity with the other two Team Leaders I don't know, but still, it's CHANGE.

I think some workers are quite happy for the opportunity to do something new. A few of my close colleagues have been doing the same work for 6 to 9 years, and are TIRED of the client group or worker role they've been doing for so long. I hope management can satisfy as many workers as possible, because I think that would bring in some excitement, a sense of freshness.

Overall, I'm aware of the extra stress, especially as I try to catch up with my documentation in preparation for the eventual shift in workers, teams and caseloads.

And I'm still building the important community relationships that keep me inspired to continue working for government. For example, today I met with a First Nations Policing Liaison officer. The work he does in the community, the thorough knowledge he has of Aboriginal social and political justice issues, the passionate way he speaks, inspired and renewed my sense of purpose in my career as an advocate for social justice, not just as a child protection worker. It's these kinds of supportive professional relationships that keep me going through the changes.