As I wrote previously, my stepson, Nathan, wants to come and live with us. He is having a hard time at home with his mom and step-dad. They have a 2 year old son, and a baby girl on the way. Mom's awesome, but, hey, they're all her kids. Step-dad is not so awesome with Nathan. Mom says he ignores Nathan completely, spending all his family time with the 2 year old. Poor mom, over 30 weeks pregnant, thinks her son is getting depressed. He's 6. So once again, the conversation has moved around to Nathan moving from Kelowna to live with us in Surrey.
My concerns this time around are a bit different. I'm not as worried about my (almost) husband pitching in, as he's been making more than a little effort to pull his parenting weight. Plus, he (finally!!) got his learner's license, a small miracle in itself. Of course he won't be able to drive kids places without me for a year, yet, but it's a step in the right direction.
However, as I've also previously written, I want to homeschool my son next year. I'm very nervous about this - can I handle it? Will I be able to get all my own school work accomplished (about 30 hours of studying a week)? 6 year old boys want a lot of attention, which is, of course, normal and good, just maybe crazy-making for the parent who needs large blocks of time to focus on complex theoretical concepts, like what exactly is social justice, and what's the best solution to this ethical dilemma?
The latest news on the homeschooling front is that the 25 hours a week recommended by Surrey Connect and other Distributed Learning (DL) schools may not be so necessary. At a meeting of the Homelearners South of the Fraser (HLSF) that I attended yesterday, I was able to talk with actual moms who share similar child rearing philosophies to mine. Several of them have taken their boys out of elementary school, and haven't looked back since. One mom told me that at the 1st and 2nd grade level, approximately an hour a day would be sufficient. She had 4 boys that she homeschools.
Only one of the moms in attendance that day had worked while also homeschooling, and she has just recently had a new baby, so she is now on Mat leave. She had previously shared the schooling and childcare tasks with her husband, as well as her father, who was on EI for a year. As I was leaving, however, another mom told me they have a woman in the group who was a working single parent who, unfortunately, wasn't there that day. However, this group has a Yahoo group listserve, so maybe there'll be more information gathering opportunities throughout the summer.
The big challenge now, is do I homeschool only my son, sending my step-son to public school? Or can I manage to teach both boys? Currently, Nathan loves school, but he is in Kindergarten, and, according to the homeschooling moms I met yesterday, they all love Kindergarten. Also, what will his mom think? Do I get to make this decision for my step-son? (Really, the idea is that homeschooling is their decision, not mine, and I am being the good mommy who sacrifices her own time to meet their needs/desires. But isn't that what parenting is all about, anyway?)
As well, what DL do I choose? Apparently, a lot of them, like Surrey Connect, require weekly written reports on each student's progress, which some moms really resented. Another grading style is through portfolios, presented 3 times a year, which one mom said was always a horrible, stressful time in her home. Many moms had been registered through SelfDesign in Vancouver, which most really liked, but one didn't at all - her "learning consultant" (the teacher?) always found fault with her weekly written reports - the point of taking her kid out of school in the first place!
Also, the concept of unschooling cropped up in the meeting. The idea of spontaneous, non-coercive learning. It sounds fabulous, as a theory. But the thought of putting that theory into practice scares my institutionalized heart. Am I bad and wrong for not exposing my kids to the world of, "sit up straight in your seat", "stop wiggling, or you'll get a detention!", and "don't speak until you're spoken to, after raising your hand." Seriously. I'm so stifled, I'm afraid to not stifle my kids.
A lot to think about, indeed.
No comments:
Post a Comment