Sad heart

This has been a hard semester for my family, not just because I am so busy with a 30 hour per week practicum on top of course work. We have had 3 deaths in the family in 3 months.

The first was my mother in law, at the end of January. She had no chronic conditions, so it was rather a shock. However, she was 68 years old, so it didn't seem outside the realm of possibility. Further, she had raised 10 children and had almost 20 grandchildren (including foster and step kids). She had lived a full life.

The second was my husband's foster father, with whom he had lived from the age of 11 until about 16 or 17 (when he moved in with his girlfriend and her family). He was not so old as my mother in law, being in his early 50's, however, he had been very sick as of late. He had been in hospital for an entire year, had had heart surgery, and had lost his lower leg and half his other foot to diabetes. He had been out of the hospital for awhile, and had died of a heart attack at the end of February.

The last was very tragic, and also very recent. My 23 year old cousin was shot by police at the end of March, and it is believed to have been suicide by police. He had tried to o/d in January. I hadn't seen him since my wedding a year and a half ago. My heart aches for his loss.

Further, less than a week before my cousin's death, I was volunteering at the crisis line, and I spent 2+ hours talking to a suicidal young man, who eventually ended the call to kill himself. I had nothing but a phone number from call display, but I felt the risk was immanent, so I called 911 with only that information.

I have been feeling overwhelmed by death and sadness, so I have taken this past week off of practicum. As well, my profs have both very kindly extended all my papers and assignments. I am grateful for their generosity, and that of all the MCFD staff who are supervising my practicum - two different social workers and their Team Leaders, as well as the practicum coordinator.

My sister (slash roommate) has also taken most of this week off, and my husband had already had it scheduled off as vacation time, so as to care for our two boys during spring break (daycare is expensive). It has been nice to be together as a family, and to just relax or to work on our new garden.

My cousin was 12 years younger than me, and his family had lived with my family for a couple of years when he was 3 and 4 years old. He was a very sweet boy who would cuddle with me any time. He loved the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. My mom made him and his brother capes while they lived with us, and the boys loved running around with the capes billowing out behind them. For the last Halloween that they lived with us, they dressed as Super Mario and Superman.

Time has made this loss easier to bear, but the memorial service is still to come. Many people, family and friends, are flying in form across the country to be with my aunt and her husband as we morn for our loss. This will make it fresh again. I ask that your thoughts and prayers are with us in our time of grief.