on Christmas, and giving

Christmas is fast approaching. The season of mad purchasing and greed is upon us, and my children are being swept away along with all their classmates. My son wants an iPod from Santa. Silly me, a couple of years ago, when I was feeling a little more flush than this year, post-wedding, I gave him a Nintendo DS and told him Santa's elves made it. Now he thinks Santa's elves can make him an iPod, and that price is, therefore, no object. Oh, the crazy lies I make up to create a little childhood magic.

We need to keep it low-key this year. I am at an all-time financial low, having spent the majority of my student loan on my mid-September wedding. Normally, I have enough cash set aside to make healthy VISA payments, as well as manage the first month of the next semester's rent. (Canada student loans don't pay out until the first day of the semester. This year, that is not until January 11th.)

So we've opted out of the adult portion of my hubby's family Christmas draw this year, leaving only the kids to exchange gifts. And we are only buying for our kids and my dad's kids, who are 8 1/2 and 10. We also normally buy gifts for my 2 sisters, my mom, my dad and stepmom, my hubby's mom and my (no longer) stepdad. Also, we are not buying gifts for each other, beyond the usual stocking stuffers.

Hubby works at crappy tire, and a couple of months ago, the display models of the Dyson vacuums were sold at an incredible discount. Hubby could not resist. We got a Dyson slim for $150. I believe the regular retail price for that item is over $400. So that is our Christmas present to one another. (Worth every penny. We vacuumed with our old canister vacuum one day, and the Dyson the very next day. The canister FILLED UP with hair and dust!)

So we've pared down our list and we're making do with the decorations we already have. We'll likely skip hosting a holiday meal, complete with a turkey, thus saving at least $100. The adults in our family are very content to lower our expectations. However, the children do not quite get it.

This is because I have always loved the magical quality of my childhood memories, and I want to recreate that as much as I can for my kids. If that means convincing them Santa is real, then so be it. However, this year we have also begun to talk a little about the baby Jesus, and the true meaning of Christmas.

Now, I am not a religious person. I am culturally Christian, in that I celebrate Christmas and Easter, but I could never call myself a Christian. For starters, I don't know if I believe that Jesus actually existed. Is there archaeological evidence to prove it? I'm not certain there is. Secondly, as a teenager, I was quite interested in Paganism and the celebration of the seasons according to my Celtic heritage. There are a lot of remarkable similarities between the Pagan solstice and Christmas, most importantly the birth of a god. Finally, I was taught to meditate by my father when I was very young, and he introduced me to Swamis and gurus. He even once suggested that the three wise men who visited the baby Jesus were East Indian gurus. The idea that Christ is the only pathway to God strikes me as arrogant. To me, Christ is a very important spiritual figure, a prophet amongst prophets, but no more. To me, he is not a god. Certainly, he is the son of God, but only in the same sense that you and I are all children of God.

Yet, still, Christ is an important spiritual figure. He preached compassion and infinite responsibility. He counseled non-violence and pacifism - as I understand it, when he is quoted in the Bible, saying "turn the other cheek," it wasn't just to turn away from violence, it was to offer up the other cheek for a second slap. Because what you resist will persist. However, if you let it be, it will run it's course, and then disappear.

I've been reading "The Fourth World" by George Manuel, of the Shuswap Nation. Aboriginal peoples have traditionally honoured giving as an important way of being. Manuel wrote that, if an Indian went hunting for a deer, he would have already earmarked each part of the deer for people in his community. The hunter himself would only keep the neck, the worst part. Everything else he would give away, knowing that someone else would have earmarked a choice piece for him at some point in the future. This was how people gained status and power in Indian communities (he used the term "Indian" - the book was published in 1974). This was why the potlatch was so important to Aboriginal communities of the West coast. To Aboriginal peoples, acquisition of goods and resources was just not done. You shared. With everyone. Always.

So we are talking about compassion, and what that means. We are talking about how it is better to give than to receive, and what that means. These are big, difficult concepts for my 6 and 7 year old boys, growing up in a Westernized, consumer culture, being working class in a middle class community. Heck, they are big concepts for me!