the rollercoaster...

This week has been hard for me. Really hard, in an emotional way.
This week and next week is midterms evaluations for me. I had an exam yesterday. I had my practicum evaluation meeting on Wednesday. My kids went into the city with my mom overnight to check out the fee Olympic stuff, and so I had to drop them off to her, packed and ready to go, before my early morning for practicum. I was late, I got in trouble, and I cried (but later, at home, alone in the tub. I know about managing my well-being, it's practically a required course for a BSW!) but my evaluation was pretty good, so at least there's that :)
On Thursday my tire blew out while I was driving on the highway. I wasn't finished dealing with it until 10:30 pm. I skipped practicum seminar on Monday because Anti-Racist was online instead of on campus for the Olympics. (My teacher lives beside one of the venues.) I'm two weeks late with some unmarked journals I have to do for practicum seminar. I missed my new crisis line shift this morning. Just plain ol' forgot to go.
I feel pressed from all directions.
I feel exhausted and overwhelmed and tired and achy and behind... I'm the White Rabbit, I'm late, I'm late!
I'm so far behind in my reading for the semester, I'm not managing my practicum Learning Objectives, I'm missing deadlines and I'm constantly late. I am stressed. And so, of course, I'm arguing with my husband and he's upset and needs soothing and that's just one more thing!
I want to explode...
but I feel like this every semester. This is not new. I get through it every time, but I just don't want to have this experience any more.
I want to have time to meditate and exercise and bake bread and make Real Food for my family. I want to have time to keep my house tidy, keep caught up with the chores. I want to feel zen, whatever that is :)